Gracie's Angel Friends

Those mysterious pinwheels made a reappearance today when we went to visit two of Grace's angel friends, babies Lily and Elle. Two amazing little girls who were taken from this Earth far too soon, but they both made an astounding impact on countless numbers of people. I have been just awestruck looking at their pictures lately, the bright twinkle in their eyes and those sweetest smiles just warm my heart. They are pure and innocent, and possess the most happy and untainted spirits.

Brien and I had the pleasure of meeting these babies' wonderful and caring parents during our support group meetings last spring. We finally got a chance to visit both of their memorial sites today and were amazed at some similarities between their sites and Grace's. Baby Elle had a cute musical baby ball, it was one of the same toys that Grace had, only she never got opportunity to play with it. Baby Lily had a couple of pinwheels at her site which Brien and I immediately recognized from Grace's site. I wrote about these about a month ago, someone had left them at every baby's site in the cemetery where Grace was located. So maybe it was Lily's parents who left them...but we don't know for sure. Probably just coincidence, or maybe.....another sign. If not for Grace, we would have never met such wonderful people.

Perhaps, through these small coincidences, Grace was telling us that she is a dear friend to these sweet babies. In any case, we sure hope that babies Grace, Lily, and Elle are finding happiness together, "Forever Over the Rainbow!" God bless our little girls. May their spirits and kind hearts shine on through eternity.

Planning the Perfect Butterfly Garden

After a week of rain we finally had a break on Sunday to go visit Grace. Holly had picked up some fresh roses and I had my gardening bag in tow. Like many times we visit her, Holly will take the vase to a nearby table and start trimming the flowers and putting them in a vase. Meanwhile I use a little brush and water to clean all the nooks-and-crannies on her plaque. We take great pride in making sure her site is always clean and full of flowers.

When we were done we stood there admiring our work and thinking about our baby. I couldn't help but think about how beautiful the floral design is on her monument and all the flowers surrounding it. Then it dawned on me, we should start a garden in Grace's memory. But not just any garden, a butterfly garden. Holly loved the idea!

The notion of a living garden with butterflies that are so symbolic to us made perfect sense. Something we could create with a variety of flowers and whimsical garden fixtures seemed like a fitting tribute to our baby girl. Being part of something that would grow and evolve in her memory was just what we were looking for. It was also perfect timing since we had just been discussing where to put a Butterfly Bush our friends Jason and Alex had given us.

We had already planned to go to a nursery after our visit, so it was a good time to get started. We had been talking about getting a water feature for months. And we figured this would be a good start to our garden. After spending an hour at the nursery looking at different fountains and features we decided on this one. We really like the design and easy setup.

Since then I've been reading a lot about butterfly gardens and what it entails. There are dozens of local trees, shrubs, vines, perennials and annuals that attract butterflies. These types of plants are broken into two groups; nectar plants for butterflies to feed on and host plants for emerging caterpillars. And of course the types of butterflies varies by region.

So over the course of the next couple of months we're going to work on the plans for our garden. We don't want to put it in at our current house since we plan on moving soon. But as soon as we move we will probably start on it. In the meantime I will continue to work on my list of plants and design. We really hope this will be a labor of love and a place of happiness in memory of Grace.

Speak up for Grace

Today was a day, much like any other Sunday for us. Taking care of house work, yard work, errands, and visiting Grace. Upon arrival at the cemetery today, Brien immediately noticed that someone thoughtfully put small pinwheels next to each of the sites of all the babies. They also put flowers next to each site which did not yet have a memorial stone built yet. How touched we were by such an act of kindness. Someone was advocating, telling us not to forget any of the precious babies and all of the lives they touched. That got me thinking about how important it is to advocate for yourself, and for others, for those who don't have a voice.

A dear friend was recently diagnosed with cancer. When she recently met with an oncologist who had a horrible doom and gloom attitude, she promptly went out for martinis afterwards with a friend. Then, she called and asked for a new doctor. She was certain to advocate for a doctor who had a more positive and supportive outlook, as well as a better bedside manner. When Grace was diagnosed with EMEE, the neurologist who first diagnosed her had a very stoic personality. I remember him saying that Grace "did not have epilepsy" which made me at first think that everything was okay then. However, after seeing him intently staring at her EEG, whispering to the technician, and then making notes which he did not let us view, we knew something was terribly wrong. The next day we asked for the test to be repeated, and for a new neurologist. Although, as we now know, the test results were the same, the new doctor sat us down privately and thoroughly explained the results in language that we could easily understand. He held our hands every step of the way. He prayed for Grace. And when I broke down in his office crying, begging for him to order us an apnea monitor for Grace, although he knew it wouldn't change the outcome, he wrote the prescription. He supported us every step of the way.

Grace was too young to have a voice, but she had plenty of advocates along the journey of her short life. Through her, we have had the opportunity to meet others who are also working tirelessly to advocate for loved ones. A friend's two-year old daughter was recently diagnosed with JRA (Juvenile Rheumatoid arthritis). What did she do? Immediately she set up a blog to inform others about this disease and her daughter's struggles. She then jumped into involvement and fundraising for the JRA foundation. Her family recently completed a fundraising walk where they raised over $3000 for this cause. She continues to make and sell items for the foundation and will continue her fundraising efforts all year round. Oh yeah, she is also full time mom to two small children, and has both full and part time jobs. She is an advocate, a hero, and a super mom!

This amazing mom told me that she really liked the blog entries where Grace suggests things to do....small tasks and challenges that can make your life better. So, in honor of this mom, along with my dear friend who is battling cancer, and for the person who remembered all of the babies with the wispy pinwheels, Grace asks you to speak up for someone. Do something to advocate for yourself, or better yet, for someone who doesn't have a voice. She looks forward to hearing your stories and your voice.