Thursday, October 23, 2014

Missing Our Little Angel

4 years ago today we lost our precious daughter Grace. Not a day has gone by we haven’t thought about her or missed her presence. Our lives’ still has this empty feeling without her. I don’t know if that will ever go away.

As I sit in front of her hope chest every item brings back a particular memory. Her knit caps and stuffed animals bring back memories of the hospital. Certain onesies bring back memories of when she wore them. Small items like her hairbrush or blankets have so many memories associated with them. I remember watching our first 49ers game together while she was dressed in this one.

It was a week later, on the morning of October 23rd she passed away as Holly and I knelt by her crib. I’ll never forget that rainy day and the pain we felt.

The road since has been hard. We struggled with our loss and trying to understand why for a long time. We would spend hours talking about the what-ifs only to find ourselves back where we started. At this point any answers to be found lie in the hands of the researchers studying her DNA. Maybe one day we’ll have an answer, but in the meantime it’s about remembering Grace during the 102 days she was with us.

So on Grace’s Angel Day, we remember the sweet baby who was taken from us far too soon in life. A daily reminder of how fragile and special life is.

Monday, August 26, 2013

In Full Bloom

A couple years ago I posted a blog entry The Makings of a Butterfly Garden to commemorate Grace. It took a while but eventually the garden took off this year. It's bursting from the seams and attracting lots of hummingbirds, bees and some butterflies. We're not seeing as many butterflies as we would have hoped for, but it is still a very special tribute to our daughter.

We bought a hammock a few months ago and spend time outside next to it enjoying its beauty. It's a nice place to escape to and reflect on so many memories and thoughts.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Developmental Trajectories

This past Wednesday we received the wonderful news from Sadie that baby David Joseph Dybizanski had arrived!  He is just a perfect baby, I received a picture of him sleeping and I swear he was also smiling!  The first thing that Sadie and Art did was tell him about his sister, Eva….maybe that prompted his smile.  Even though the delivery went smooth and David was nursing well, they were not out of the woods yet, especially because Eva’s signs of the disorder didn’t show up right away either.  David would be scheduled for an EEG before they left the hospital, this test would be able to tell them whether he had the same brain disorder as Eva or not.

Today I was busily working on my computer when I looked over and saw a text from Sadie.  The text read, “David just got a clean bill of neurological health!”  She sent a picture of David with his eyes wide open and alert, he was just gorgeous.  When her text came in, I just happened to be working on writing a lecture regarding early infant communication development.  I asked Sadie if he was orienting to faces and responding to her voice.  To my delight she said he was looking back and forth between both her and Art’s voices.  He’s awake, alert and curious, the way newborns are supposed to be. 

Next week I will hopefully be able to video chat with Sadie and baby David.  You can bet that Sadie and I will be following his development much closer than any pediatrician will!  I feel so blessed to be a part of this new beginning….no one deserves it more than Sadie and Art.  Baby David is well loved by many, including his lovely angel sister, Eva.  Wishing much love and happiness for the Dybizanski family and friends!