Saturday, July 30, 2011

Dust and Tears

Last weekend, Brien and I packed up and moved out of our house of five years. Doesn’t seem like too long of a time, however these past five years have been full of life changing events for the both of us. During these years, we got married, started a business, had our amazing little Grace, lost our Grace, and also both survived cancer (skin cancer for Brien and thyroid for me). These past five years have felt like a lifetime to us both. So many memories we have were entrenched in that house…especially with Grace.

Over the past several months we really have tried to look past our emotional attachment to the house, and to Grace’s room. Keeping the house just didn’t make much sense any more and we knew in our hearts that Grace would always be with us no matter where we were. I have hope that things are working out for the best, however as I was sweeping the floors of the empty house last weekend I found myself breaking down in tears. I felt like I was sweeping up some of the past and the emptiness of the house was just eerie. It was no longer a home, but a blank canvas for someone else to come along do what they may, to make their own memories.

As I was sweeping, Brien came in and went into Grace’s empty room. I heard him talking with her and asking her to come with us. I sure hope she was listening. We then packed up the rest of our odds and ends and loaded Bodie into the truck with us. As we were pulling out I started to tightly hug Bodie in my lap and then saw my neighbor walk up and tap on the window. She wanted to give us a good bye hug. This was especially difficult for both Brien and I because we had the best neighbors who have become our close friends, especially over the past year. Home is truly where the heart is and it’s the people you surround yourself with that make your home the best.

So now, a week later, I’ve tried to sweep up the dust and the tears while we settle into a new temporary house. We’re doing the best we can to make it into our home, as long as Bodie is here and Grace is here in our memories, things will be okay. We still have hope that our house on Halo Ave. will come to fruition, but if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. As long as we are together, we are home. Grace hopes the same is true for you.

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